Wherever You Go

      Somebody said one of my favorite sayings to me yesterday; 'life is what happens when you've made other plans".  There are days like that - sometimes it seems like there are weeks, months, or even years like that.  Just when I think I have my life organized and made up my mind about what comes next, life happens and there is a crook in the road I hadn't seen before.  No matter what my plans were, I have to deal with what is now ahead of me.  Sometimes they are small dips or bumps in the road, a turn in a completely new direction, or even a hole so big I can't see my way around or out of it.

      Those kind of things happen to us all.  But right now, there is a collective climate of uneasiness because of the economy and the world situation.  It makes it that much harder to make decisions and choices when we feel like we have no real control. That's when I wish I was like this friend of mine.

      She is one of those people that seems to walk with a sureness that I wish I had.  When she has a decision to make, she prays and sooner or later, feels that she has gotten an answer that allows her to say, "this is the direction God wants me to go".  With confidence, she then sets off in that direction.

      I wish God talked to me.  Oh, don't get me wrong.  I'm sure God has a lot to say to me that I haven't slowed down to listen to.  But when I have a big decision to make, I don't seem to get the kind of clear cut holy arrow pointing in the direction I need to go that my friend does.  I pray.  I try to listen.  I spend time with valued friends talking about the options, listening to advice, laying out the pros and cons, but it still comes down to my making a decision and praying it is the right one. I don't hear a voice saying,"Go here" but I do step off the curb with a promise.  Whatever way I have chosen to go, I know that God goes with me.

      In the end, that is the most important thing for any of us to know.  

      Many people in their weddings use the words of Ruth to Naomi, "Wherever you go, I will go..."  They are beautiful words of promise from one woman to another.  But the words of promise that I invite you to cling to come from Jesus.  Here and there throughout the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus promises to be with us.  "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them."  (Matthew 7:20)  And again at the close of the Gospel, "lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age" (28:20).

      Whether it is good news, something we've been waiting for a long time or bad news, something seemingly impossible to face, God is with us.  

      Like the poster on my eighth grade English teacher's wall of the road that diverges in the wood, life sometimes presents us with decisions to make.  Which path will we choose?  Unlike the poster, it isn't always clear that one path looks wide and sunny and one path less traveled.  Unlike the poem, the choice isn't "do I go the right way" but instead, the struggle is figuring out which way is the right way.  And some days, things happen that change the rest of our lives without any decision on our part.

      The promise is that God goes with us no matter which path we take.  When we pray about decisions , we may not get a clear answer the way my friend does, but we can hear again that there is no where we can go that is too far for God.  Read Psalm 139: 1-10 

Chooser or Chosen?

      People in my family have a long history of adopting and rescuing cats but now I'm not so sure that's the way it works.

      One winter morning, my brother-in-law woke up my sister because there was a strange and hungry-looking cat crying at the back door to be let in.  A little later, Sue let the cat in.  After all, it was bitterly cold and snowing.  The black and white cat came in, ate and slept and asked to go out after about an hour and a half.  The rest of the day passed without any further sign of the cat until late in the evening, Sue thought she saw something outside as she walked past the front door.  Sure enough, there was the cat just sitting quietly and patiently in front of the door.  He had been sitting there long enough that there was a pile of snow on his head between his ears and on his shoulders.  Of course, he was brought in again and became part of the family.

      When Sue then took him to the vet to get checked out, vaccinated, and neutered, she told how they had gotten him.  The vet said that in her experience, cats are very careful about where they end up and will often scope a place out for several days before deciding whom they will adopt.  In her opinion, they had been adopted by the cat - who has made himself very much at home in his house since then!

      The little grey cat that adopted my husband last fall against all logic (he has not been known as a "cat person") is further proof that the vet was right.  My husband has a little grey shadow wherever he goes.

      There is often the same confusion when it comes to our relationship with God.  Do we choose God or does God choose us?  It's so natural to feel that we have chosen to believe in God; especially for those of us that have spent time searching in ourselves and in the world for answers or as some have put it, what fills the God-shaped hole in ourselves.  We have chosen where we worship or to follow a certain spirituality.  In the words of the old hymn, some of us "have decided to follow Jesus".

      But just as Sue decided to open the door and let the cat in, the cat had already picked her.  Paul writes in the book of Ephesians (Ephesians 1:3 -6) that we are blessed by God in Christ "just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world ... in love".  Before we can do anything, God reaches out to us in love.   Not only has God chosen us to live a life of faith but out of love God adopts us into the family.  

      Now the family of God is a family of all kinds of people in all kinds of places and goodness knows we don't all agree.  People aren't always comfortable with all the differences and words and actions can even turn ugly and hateful.  That's when it is good to remember that God doesn't ask us to be alike - just to reach out in love the way Jesus did and include others the way that God has wrapped us in love and grace.  Read Romans 8:14-17

Smile or Frown?

      I was sitting at a church meeting recently when something unexpected happened.  My mouth was getting dry so I got some  gum out of my purse.   I turned and offered some to the person behind me and got a reaction that could best be described as as a frown and the sound of disapproval.  I haven't been "in trouble" for chewing gum somewhere for a long time!  

      Unfortunately, such displays of disapproval are common in church according to many youth and young adults (and some not so young).  It can be over children that aren't sitting completely still or being quiet.  With teenagers, it's often about they look like (clothes, hair, piercings, tattoos, etc...).   After all, there was a time when going to church required a certain wardrobe, like going to a high class restaurant.   In some churches, parents with young children were relegated to the back rows or to a crying room or nursery with the worship service piped in over a speaker.  Some people wish things hadn't changed and often see the changes as a lack of respect.

      My mother had a saying that she used when she saw a frowning or pouting child: " You'd better watch out or your face will freeze like that".   As I grew older, I shrugged that off as an 'old wives tale';  something untrue to be ignored.  Then years later, I started paying more attention to peoples' faces and I noticed that there were indeed older people whose faces looked wrinkled into permanent  down turned frowns or pursed lips.  Often, attitudes did seem to match the face.

       My younger son had a classmate who lived across the street near my first parish.  Ben asked if Robbie could come to church one weekend.  'Of course!' I said.  He showed up the next morning in a dirty shirt and a runny nose but he came.  He like it so well, he asked to come some more Sundays.  One Sunday, when he missed us (as pastor, I had to be at church early), he walked the ten blocks to church and showed up on his own.  

      Now some people didn't approve  of him.  He usually showed up in dirty and/or torn shirts, muddy shoes, and a runny nose and he didn't know how to behave in church or Sunday School.  I quietly mentioned to a few folk that his mom slept in and he was getting up on his own accord to come every Sunday.  Soon, we had a couple who became his adopted "church family" and watched out for him, picked him up and took him home and made sure he felt welcome.  His "church family" also ran defense for him, protecting him from people whose disapproval might have killed his interest in and growing love for church and learning about Jesus.

      How many of us would have worked that hard to come to a strange church filled with people, words, and actions that we know nothing about?   We need to be very careful of our actions and reactions to children and the people around us.  Do they get judgment and disapproval from us or welcome and a smile?  I know that some people are put off or insulted by belly shirts or flip flops in church but I worry more that each young person knows that God loves them just the way they are.  Jesus said, "Whoever welcomes one such child in my name, welcomes me."

      It's what Jesus asks - no - tells us to do. Read Matthew 18:1-7

      

Try a little kindness

       Kindness is one of those words that has gotten misused and waylaid these days.  "Kind" and "nice" have become to be seen as traits that are tepid and mousy - almost more of an insult than compliment.  When someone asks you how they did and you don't know quite how to respond, "That's nice" seems to work as an answer - except with children.  During the days when the refrigerator was covered with art work, I was often asked to critique the latest effort.  More than once, my "That's nice" earned me, "I know, Mom but how is it?"  

       Children are not learned in social rules of adults.  Ask a child how they are and they will tell you.  On the other hand, I have visited adults in intensive care who will assure me when asked that they "are fine, thank you."   Children are much more apt to speak their minds without censoring themselves to be "nice" - which can be embarrassing for the adults around them.   

       Both being nice and being kind, require empathy, a skill children have to learn.   Empathy is being able to understand another person's emotions and how your words and actions may affect someone else.  It is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.   Some experts now say that if children don't see empathy modeled and don't learn it by the age of 4 or 5, they may never learn it.    People who don't care /can't care about what happens to other people are the most dangerous kind of people.   There have been enough examples of genocide and violence to teach us this.

       Thinking about how our actions affect other people is a simple way to allow our lives be shaped by faith.  Jesus says over and over in the Gospel of John, that we are to be known by how we love each other.  How is that possible?  Do we all have to become pastors or religious figures?  It can sound so difficult, demanding, and weird to live faith everyday, as if we are being asked to become someone else than who we are.  Instead, think of it in little steps.  

       Remember the little sign on video rentals "be kind, rewind"?  It can begin as simple as that - can a simple action on my part save someone else from having to pick up the paper I leave behind; offer to get someone else a cup of coffee when I get my own;  a kind smile instead of a complaint when waiting in line at the checkout.  Or my sister's line - 'turn off the light when you leave the room to save a polar bear'.  

       Being kind is nothing more nor less than caring for the people around you.  It is not earned or asked for but it greatly affects the people around us.  The CEV (Contemporary English Version) of the Bible translates Galatians 6:18 as this: "My friends, I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ will be kind to you! Amen."  That kindness saved us all.

Summer Schedule changes

SUMMER WORSHIP SCHEDULE: Please note time changes!

         Augustana  9:00am

         Halstad      10:30am  

                           children's sermons continue throughout 

                           the summer

                 no Sunday School

SUMMER PICNIC IN THE PARK

          5:30pm  meet in the park, Halstad

          6:00pm  eat (meat,  buns, drinks provided; 

                               bring a dish to share)

                  followed by games, visiting, and ending with 

                  singing around the campfire and prayers

EVERYONE IS WELCOME!  KEEP GOD IN YOUR SUMMER!

                            

Praying Attention

     I was given a calender flip book of sayings my first year in ministry.  Each page had a painted graphic and a wise or funny saying for the day.  One page caught me in particular and for years, that book sat open on my office shelf because I  "resemble that remark".  It said, "I need you to listen so I can hear myself think."  

     We have a powerful need to be heard.  The mark of good communication is the amount of time we spend listening to the other person.   But we don't just need to spew words into the air, there is a deep need to know we are heard; that the other has heard and understood our words, paying attention to both content and person.  One of my children put it best.

     It was nearing supper-time and I was busy cooking away in the kitchen, trying to get everything done at the same time when one of the boys came in.  "Mom! Guess what!" I'm sure I mumbled a response, 'yes'.  He proceeded to  tell me all about what he was excited about.  I listened for a short time and then zoned out as something threatened to boil over.  By the time I was ready to pay attention again, he was gone out of the room.  I remember thinking, "Good.  He's bothering his dad now."

     Evidently, his dad wasn't really paying attention either.  Pretty soon, he came back in.  "Mom!",

he demanded.

    "Yeah," I answered, keeping on cooking.

     "Mom!" he demanded even louder.  "What?" I asked.  "I'm listening", I said still cooking away, chopping, stirring, checking pots and adding spices.

     "Mom, I need you to listen with your eyes!."

     At that point, I turned down the heat, set down the spoon, sat down and listened.  I was being taught a very important lesson: we listen best when our eyes are are focused on the person talking and our hands are not busy doing other things.  The most important investment we can make in our relationships with other people is to listen with our eyes and ears, to give the other person our complete attention.  It is a rare commodity to share these days - especially with the young people in our lives.   Between cell phones, texting, tweeting, TV, and all the activities in our lives, spending silent time just listening is a vanishing skill - but one that can go a long way toward healing and improving our relationships.

     Yet there is one relationship where we are even less likely to spend time silently listening - our relationship with God.  Sometimes we come to silent prayer because we have no choice; we cannot find the words we need.  Sometimes we are waiting for an answer.  Some disciplines suggest using a short prayer phrase to focus our thoughts (useful instead of just sitting and thinking "don't think") or reading some scripture and then pondering it in silence.  The Eastern church "listens with their eyes" by meditating on holy paintings - icons.  However you chose, adding listening to our prayer gets our attention off of what we need and want, opens us up to God's will, and brings healing.   Read Romans 8:26-27

Who's/whose weeds?

    It's dandelion time, have you noticed?  Hardly does the grass have time to get green when sure enough, little yellow heads scatter themselves throughout the yard.  Most people consider them the scourge of spring - some people even see them as an insult and take it quite personally.  How dare they.  But one person's weed is another person's bouquet; my mother taught me that.

   One spring day, my two year-old son came running from the neighbor's yard with a couple of tulips clutched in his hand.  He was so proud and brought them to me with a big smile on his face - "for you, Mommy!".   They were brought with so much love but I accepted them with dread. They were plucked from the neighbor's bed of prize flowers so I began explaining to my son that he must never do that again - it was so wrong.  By the time I got half way through telling him, there were big tears rolling down his cheeks.  He had been so excited - he just wanted to do something nice for his mom.  

     That's when my mom stepped in.  She took him and asked if he had seen any of the pretty yellow flowers in the grass.  Yes, he had - we were living in student housing and dandelions were plentiful.  She told him all about how God makes dandelions to grow everywhere just so little children have flowers they can pick whenever they want and they will never get in trouble. These beautiful little mums are made just for children and that's why they grow down low where they are easy to pick.   God makes them grow all spring and summer so that you will never run out of flowers to enjoy.  And when the flowers go to seed, you get to blow them apart to make wishes come true.

   Over the years, I don't know how many bouquets of bright sunny yellow flowers I have gotten from my children.  For years, I had an antique glass that sat in the kitchen window waiting for  each new bunch of flowers.  Somewhere along the way, the children grew older and dandelions became just weeds messing up the grass.

   I caught myself looking at dandelions shining in the sun this weekend.  How I would give anything to get a grubby little handful of dandelions for my windowsill!  I pray I am blessed with grandchildren that I can teach all about children's flowers.

    In these days of worries about job losses, credit woes, and the on-going wars, perhaps we would all be helped by rethinking our position on dandelions.  I think sometimes we worry ourselves into making big problems out of little weeds.  We take it as a personal insult when things don't go exactly the way we want them done and often we are too quick to make our displeasure known, hurting the people around us.  The amount of money spent on blood pressure medication, and pills to prevent stomach upset and ulcers should convince us that not only are we being hurtful to others, we are physically hurting ourselves.

    We need to take time and remember that the God who made dandelions also cares for all of our "grown-up" needs as well.  Breath deep and slowly.  Read Matthew 6:25-34