Praying Attention

     I was given a calender flip book of sayings my first year in ministry.  Each page had a painted graphic and a wise or funny saying for the day.  One page caught me in particular and for years, that book sat open on my office shelf because I  "resemble that remark".  It said, "I need you to listen so I can hear myself think."  

     We have a powerful need to be heard.  The mark of good communication is the amount of time we spend listening to the other person.   But we don't just need to spew words into the air, there is a deep need to know we are heard; that the other has heard and understood our words, paying attention to both content and person.  One of my children put it best.

     It was nearing supper-time and I was busy cooking away in the kitchen, trying to get everything done at the same time when one of the boys came in.  "Mom! Guess what!" I'm sure I mumbled a response, 'yes'.  He proceeded to  tell me all about what he was excited about.  I listened for a short time and then zoned out as something threatened to boil over.  By the time I was ready to pay attention again, he was gone out of the room.  I remember thinking, "Good.  He's bothering his dad now."

     Evidently, his dad wasn't really paying attention either.  Pretty soon, he came back in.  "Mom!",

he demanded.

    "Yeah," I answered, keeping on cooking.

     "Mom!" he demanded even louder.  "What?" I asked.  "I'm listening", I said still cooking away, chopping, stirring, checking pots and adding spices.

     "Mom, I need you to listen with your eyes!."

     At that point, I turned down the heat, set down the spoon, sat down and listened.  I was being taught a very important lesson: we listen best when our eyes are are focused on the person talking and our hands are not busy doing other things.  The most important investment we can make in our relationships with other people is to listen with our eyes and ears, to give the other person our complete attention.  It is a rare commodity to share these days - especially with the young people in our lives.   Between cell phones, texting, tweeting, TV, and all the activities in our lives, spending silent time just listening is a vanishing skill - but one that can go a long way toward healing and improving our relationships.

     Yet there is one relationship where we are even less likely to spend time silently listening - our relationship with God.  Sometimes we come to silent prayer because we have no choice; we cannot find the words we need.  Sometimes we are waiting for an answer.  Some disciplines suggest using a short prayer phrase to focus our thoughts (useful instead of just sitting and thinking "don't think") or reading some scripture and then pondering it in silence.  The Eastern church "listens with their eyes" by meditating on holy paintings - icons.  However you chose, adding listening to our prayer gets our attention off of what we need and want, opens us up to God's will, and brings healing.   Read Romans 8:26-27