Smile or Frown?

      I was sitting at a church meeting recently when something unexpected happened.  My mouth was getting dry so I got some  gum out of my purse.   I turned and offered some to the person behind me and got a reaction that could best be described as as a frown and the sound of disapproval.  I haven't been "in trouble" for chewing gum somewhere for a long time!  

      Unfortunately, such displays of disapproval are common in church according to many youth and young adults (and some not so young).  It can be over children that aren't sitting completely still or being quiet.  With teenagers, it's often about they look like (clothes, hair, piercings, tattoos, etc...).   After all, there was a time when going to church required a certain wardrobe, like going to a high class restaurant.   In some churches, parents with young children were relegated to the back rows or to a crying room or nursery with the worship service piped in over a speaker.  Some people wish things hadn't changed and often see the changes as a lack of respect.

      My mother had a saying that she used when she saw a frowning or pouting child: " You'd better watch out or your face will freeze like that".   As I grew older, I shrugged that off as an 'old wives tale';  something untrue to be ignored.  Then years later, I started paying more attention to peoples' faces and I noticed that there were indeed older people whose faces looked wrinkled into permanent  down turned frowns or pursed lips.  Often, attitudes did seem to match the face.

       My younger son had a classmate who lived across the street near my first parish.  Ben asked if Robbie could come to church one weekend.  'Of course!' I said.  He showed up the next morning in a dirty shirt and a runny nose but he came.  He like it so well, he asked to come some more Sundays.  One Sunday, when he missed us (as pastor, I had to be at church early), he walked the ten blocks to church and showed up on his own.  

      Now some people didn't approve  of him.  He usually showed up in dirty and/or torn shirts, muddy shoes, and a runny nose and he didn't know how to behave in church or Sunday School.  I quietly mentioned to a few folk that his mom slept in and he was getting up on his own accord to come every Sunday.  Soon, we had a couple who became his adopted "church family" and watched out for him, picked him up and took him home and made sure he felt welcome.  His "church family" also ran defense for him, protecting him from people whose disapproval might have killed his interest in and growing love for church and learning about Jesus.

      How many of us would have worked that hard to come to a strange church filled with people, words, and actions that we know nothing about?   We need to be very careful of our actions and reactions to children and the people around us.  Do they get judgment and disapproval from us or welcome and a smile?  I know that some people are put off or insulted by belly shirts or flip flops in church but I worry more that each young person knows that God loves them just the way they are.  Jesus said, "Whoever welcomes one such child in my name, welcomes me."

      It's what Jesus asks - no - tells us to do. Read Matthew 18:1-7